This is a photo of my Momma last week. There was a Hawaiian Barbeque at her personal care home. My sister-in-law accompanied her. When I saw this picture, I commented that I had not seen her so happy in a very long time. She really enjoyed the event and especially the special food that was prepared for the residents and guests. Later that evening she also indulged in a chocolate bar.

Momma loved to eat but unfortunately hospital fare just wasn’t her “cup of tea”. She did enjoy her breakfast of boiled eggs and a muffin, but for the most part, she was uninspired.  Instead, she would request cans of pork and beans and fresh cucumber and tomato. Simple food that could absolutely delight her. The last thing item that I removed from the personal care home was a sign which read: “Resident has food in her fridge if she requests food during meals”. This note said many things about my Mom but especially that she knew exactly what she wanted and that food was meant for far more than nourishment for the body.

The morning after the barbecue the lovely staff at Concordia Place checked in on her to see how well she had slept and let her remain in bed until they would transfer her to her chair for her breakfast. When they came back to do so, they couldn’t rouse her. She had peacefully slipped away.

The subsequent arrangements for the celebration of her life were easy: we knew that she would want us to be modest in our burial selections, but we also knew that there better be good food and lots of it!

This is an excerpt from my part of her eulogy:

Mom silently demonstrated how to love others by cooking for them-doughnuts for all the guys who delivered papers with my brother Tom, late night meals when my brother Doug and his band would roll in after a gig, me inviting all the Keg “orphans” to Christmas dinner, well you get the picture. For Mom, having lived through poverty and the depression, food was precious, and we were precious to her and so she loved us with food. She taught us to never waste a single thing-she even kept the water from boiling potatoes and added it to the gravy; she sent all those little butter packets home from the nursing home with Sue.

Kath’s quote (from one of the many sympathy cards that we received): “When a good-bye is so unexpected and sudden, it is the wise heart that knows that sometimes it has to look back and remember in order to look forward and hope”.

Love never fails.

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